The year 2018 has passed by quietly, and the clock has reached 2019. To be honest, I can’t feel anything other than “fast” about time. I just went through the "New Year's Speech" I wrote on New Year's Day in 2018: Going through the warm and cold years, feeling the weight of life - Goodbye 2017 Hello 2018? , suddenly it felt like 2018 was gone.
As usual, in 2019, I always feel like I have to write something. Firstly, I see that it is popular to post "year-end summary" and "New Year's resolutions" in the circle of friends... If I don't post something, I will always feel "abandoned" by this era; secondly, I always think about life in the new year. It should be getting better year by year, or at least some changes can be made, but it feels like it’s stuck in my throat, and I can’t say what I want to say.
1. Maybe there is no need to change the world
The world is very big, and I used to often dream of "achieving great things", "establishing great causes", or even "changing a world" and "creating a world". However, looking back on my life in 2018, I feel that it is really difficult to live in this world with this kind of thinking. In 2018, I have learned to admit, learn to endure, learn to be calm, and learned that the world really does not need to be changed.
2. Maybe it’s yourself who needs to change
It is difficult to change the world, and there seems to be no "necessity", but changing "oneself" is very important, and sometimes it is quite urgent. If you want to make a summary of your life one day, it is not necessarily that you are changing the external world, but that the world has been changing you, allowing you to learn to float, wander and sink in the dust.
However, it is strange to say that it is more difficult to change yourself than to change the world. To sum up, there are three difficulties: First, people are lazy. This inertia is really fatal sometimes. I feel that I may have to fight against "inertia" throughout my life; secondly, people have inertia. This inertia refers to the inertia of thinking. When thinking solves a problem, it first takes the "old path";
The third is human attributes. People are members of this society and must return to society. It is impossible to live apart from society. Therefore, it is often easy for people and society to have conflicts. As a result of this struggle, some people went to change the world, and more people learned to change themselves. People who change the world are called "great men", and people who change themselves are called "mortals".
3. Isn’t life like this?
I may have had expectations for some beauty, or I may have repeatedly doubted those expectations, wondering whether they would leave me. Perhaps I once made the same vow to an inexplicable person as she did to me, just to meet each other. , just for short-term happiness, maybe there is no problem with all this, just because time makes me feel why everything should be too cautious, why be too hesitant, so I gave all of myself to her, but missed the best you .
In 2018, life, work and study are still "business as usual", with no improvement, no change, and no climax. This kind of "mundaneness" is sometimes easily mistaken by oneself as a kind of "lucky", and sometimes it is easy to be convinced that "Isn't life like this?" I want to long for change, but life has drawn a wall and I can’t jump out.
Written on January 1, 2019, Qi.